We all have different things going on, different priorities and responsibilities competing for the limited number of hours we get to experience each day. Sometimes there's too much to do and not enough time to do it all. Below are some tips that have helped me get through the busier and more stressful phases in my life. I am under no illusion that reading these tips will suddenly make an unmanageable schedule become manageable for you; but it is my hope that these tips might help you to approach any unmanageable schedules you encounter in a way that feels better.
1. I’ll start with something a little cliché; you may have heard the phrase “it’s a marathon, not a sprint.” I think this saying is oh-so-applicable, not just to school, but to life. If we are running a sprint, we can use all our energy up in a short amount of time because the sprint doesn’t last very long. That means we can exert ourselves intensely from the beginning and it will probably be okay; by the time we run out of energy, the sprint will likely be over and we can crash. But school isn’t a sprint, and neither is life. If we keep going hard and going hard and going hard (not getting enough sleep, high-stress, no down-time), we risk running out of energy before we've passed the finish line (we often call these breakdowns, and it’s okay if they happen—sometimes they need to happen—but sprinting from breakdown to breakdown feels pretty miserable.) Part of the trick (and only part of it) is figuring out how to pace yourself and how to rejuvenate yourself when you’re feeling low. Easier said than done, I know. (Which brings me to the next point…)
2. You will almost certainly have to make difficult decisions about what you can and can’t prioritize at different times. That is, when there is too much to do and not enough time to do it in, you will have to make choices about what gets done now and what doesn't. You may have to decide between going to work on-time or studying for an exam, or actually getting enough sleep, or helping out a friend. Sometimes work will be more important, other times studying will, other times sleep or your friend will (many things will come into play here: how are your finances doing; how are your grades doing; how important are your job and that class to your career trajectory; how much sleep have you been getting; what situation is your friend in and can anyone else help? What are the most important and urgent things?). Realistically though, these difficult prioritizing/pacing decisions are also likely to be heavily influenced by the actions and reactions of other people, which is why you prioritizing and pacing yourself is only part of the solution. What happens when your boss threatens to fire you? Or your teacher doesn’t allow you to make up the test? Dealing with an unmanageable schedule sometimes requires flexibility and support from other people in your life (your bosses, teachers, co-parents, etc.)--that's the other part of the solution, and that really isn't always in your control. I’d like to share something from a colleague:
“You’re going to disappoint somebody every day, so maybe it’s my turn to get disappointed. I can take it.” If you are ever taking a course with me, please know that I take these words to heart. It is really, really okay if my course isn’t your priority all the time; it doesn’t make me think any less of you and I won’t assume it’s because you don’t care. I promise that I will always do the best I can to be flexible and support you while continuing to ensure a fair classroom experience for all my students.
3. Recharging (rest/ relaxation/ fun) is an important key to making it through the marathon of life, and recharging works a lot better when you don’t let yourself feel guilty for it. Why? Because when we feel guilty, we aren’t really recharging--we are feeling stress and worry, and the brain doesn't really relax when it's stressed and worried. If we feel guilty during our downtime, then that downtime becomes more-or-less useless. We’re not only not being productive; we’re not really recharging or enjoying ourselves either. So, when you decide to take the time to recharge, do so fully and intentionally and without guilt. That way, your downtime is not only more enjoyable, but actually more productive as well. Not sure how to stop feeling guilty? Read on.
4. If you find yourself worrying and/or stressing about things a lot—that is, if you find your thoughts repeatedly playing back over worries and concerns, even when you’re trying to relax—try to use this trick: select a physical place somewhere on your journey home from work or school, a line that you cross on your way to wherever it is that you relax. This could be a line at your front door, a line as you cross into your room, or just before you step into bed, you can put it anywhere. Now, imagine that your worries and stresses are in a backpack that you carry around with you. When you cross that physical line you've chosen, give yourself permission to set down your backpack full of worry and stress. Know that your backpack will be there, at that physical line, waiting for you to pick it back up tomorrow—know that your worries and stresses aren’t going to abandon you if you put them down for a few hours, for a night. If something happens and you need to suddenly pick them up again, you can. But generally speaking, in between when you cross that line on the way in, and when you cross it on the way out, allow yourself to let those worries go so that you can actually rest and recoup for the task of carrying them again tomorrow. Even if you don’t cross that line until right before bed and cross it again right after you get out of bed, it’s important to let yourself put that stuff down, at least a little. Again: recharging is crucial, and life is not meant to be 100% stress and productivity 100% of the time. (Thanks to Dr. Callie Kostelich for relaying this backpack metaphor.)
5. Procrastination almost never produces the best work, but it can be an effective strategy for getting though busy and demanding situations. I think it’s safe to say that we all procrastinate sometimes: waiting until the last minute to start something. The kind of stress procrastination induces can even seem helpful in the moment (that under-pressure, gotta-do-it-now kind of stress/energy). However, that kind of stress is usually, in the long run, quite the opposite of helpful. Existing in the “have to do it now” mode is a bit draining, and the longer and more frequently you exist in that mode, the longer and more frequently you exist in an adrenaline-fueled (read: stress/anxiety) mode. So, procrastination is kind of like acetaminophen, aka Tylenol. If you have a headache (a busy schedule), acetaminophen (procrastination) can help you get through, and taking acetaminophen (procrastinating) every now and again is usually more or less harmless, and that makes acetaminophen (procrastination) so, so very legit. However, I've heard that, taken every day, acetaminophen can really start to mess with your liver, kind of like how procrastinating all the time can really start to mess with your anxiety levels. Moral of the story here: try not to let yourself feel guilty for needing to procrastinate sometimes (that’s normal), but also know that the more regularly you rely on procrastination, the more stressed out you will likely feel in the long run.
6. Ask for help. In school settings, you should always be safe asking for help; I am aware that this unfortunately isn’t always the case (although I hope it is more common than not). Whether the help you need is related to school assignments and content or related to managing life and career stuff more generally, there should always be someone who is able to help you, even if its only in a small way. That person may be a teacher, a T.A., your adviser, a librarian, a counselor, a student organization, or even a peer. If you don’t know who to go to for the kind of help you are seeking, my best advice is to just pick someone and ask. An adviser is often a great place to start, or maybe a teacher you like (office hours are meant for these kinds of conversations; you can read more about office hours here). People who work in schools should generally be able to help you find others on campus who can assist you; if someone says they can't help you, ask them to direct you to someone they think might be able to. If you are in a school situation and need help and genuinely feel that there is nobody to go to, please reach out to me via the contact page on this site. I cannot guarantee that I’ll be able to help; but I can guarantee that I’ll try. Asking for help should never reflect negatively on you in a school setting; it is a sign that you are genuinely engaged and trying to make the most of your education. Plus, none of us get through life without the help of others. It’s human to rely on each other.
7. Relatedly, when available, I highly recommend that you make use of the resources provided to you by your institution. Many schools have writing centers where people will help you look over and revise your written assignments. Some (including UNR) offer free one-on-one counseling for students (I cannot overemphasize how awesome and important this is and recommend it to every student as a means of self-care). Many schools also offer counseling groups, social networking events, tutoring, job placement and resume help, and financial aid counseling, among other things. It’s definitely worth taking the time to look around on your school’s website or to ask an adviser or counselor what kinds of resources you have available to you. You don’t have to do this all alone, and you don’t have to have it all figured out. That’s why those resources are there.